I have a rich and happy life, with strong community and family, fulfilling work and a sense of purpose in my life. Yet, still, I experience soul-ripping, lonely moments on occasion. And I know I’m not alone in this.
Loneliness is a significant issue, not just for us in North America, but also in other parts of the world. In 2018, the United Kingston appointed a “Minister for Loneliness”. In Japan, they’ve created this documentary on loneliness and have a specific word to describe “lonely deaths” – Kodokushi.
Here in Canada, one in five us have experienced periods of “extreme loneliness” and our youth and elderly community members are particular vulnerable to loneliness. CBC asks in this short video if Canada needs a loneliness strategy….
While many of us might feel lonely when we are alone, social media can make it worse: everyone else seems to have somewhere to go or someone to see except us.
While loneliness and isolation affects people of all ages, these feelings may become more intense as we get older. As we age, we more often live alone and lose contact with friends and family. We can begin to feel irrelevant and left behind by the changing times, especially constantly changing technology; and we can be invisible even when we are out and about.
Loneliness can affect our brains and speed up dementia, even mean a shorter life span.
But younger people struggle also to create community and a sense of belonging. We are, after all, social animals and we all have a need to be connected to others in meaningful ways.
But the very tools we’re using these days to help us stay in touch – Facebook, Instagram, Snap chat, etc., often leave us feeling inadequate and socially isolated. After all, everyone else seems to be living a great life out and about and we’re at home feeling dull and alone.
Loneliness doesn’t just feel bad. Ongoing social isolation can contribute to poor sleep, depression and overall poorer physical health. In fact, in one article I read, it suggested that loneliness can actually cause as much harm as smoking 15 cigarettes a day!!
So are we ready to grow our courage and talk more about loneliness, like they’re doing in the UK?
I know when my heart is lonely I need warmth, affection and to speak my truth…and yet…I still find it difficult to share these moments with others. Honestly, I even feel a bit vulnerable and exposed writing about it here.
I have found over time as I’ve deepened my journey of self-discovery and wrestled with my own past I have a stronger sense of belonging and fitting in my own skin and have less of these soul-ripping moments. If you’re ready to dive into a journey of self-discovery to guide you through those moments of loneliness, email me for a free Discovery Session.
