The Practice of Gratitude

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I always thought that if my life was more joyful and happy, then I would practice gratitude with more ease. But instead what I’m learning is that when I actively practice gratitude, my life becomes more joyful. Gratitude generally seems like a good thing to have more of, doesn’t it? 

People say when they practice gratitude regularly, they feel better overall about their lives, are more likely to reach their health and work goals, experience more energy and focus, sleep better and experience fewer symptoms of stress. (If you’re interested in gratitude research, see Dr. Emmons website https://emmons.faculty.ucdavis.edu/).

Dr. Brene Brown is an author and researcher about vulnerability, courage, empathy and shame. I totally love her work, especially her book Braving the Wilderness, and she’s a funny and vulnerable Texan. If you haven’t met her, you’re in for a treat. Watch her fabulous Ted Talks here. 

Brown says that one of the most significant ways to cultivate a joyful life is to practice gratitude.

But it’s harder than that, isn’t it? If I could just say, “Ok, I’m more grateful” than I would. But sometimes I still feel caught by fear.

Last week I woke up in the middle of the night, heart pounding after a bad dream, all sweaty and tangled in the sheets. Suddenly, a wave of fear clawed at my throat about my adult children: how would they survive in this world? Floods, catastrophes, no full-time work. I felt hopeless. And not enough as a mother. 

Brown calls this “dress rehearsing for tragedy” and says it not only interferes with life, it also stops us from experiencing joy.

Joy is a vulnerable emotion. Loving someone deeply can bring feelings of loss and fear. By practicing being vulnerable and allowing it to change into gratitude, we can learn to shift from the old habit of expecting bad things to happen to living in the present moment for what is.

In my exploration of gratitude, I’ve discovered five key steps that have really benefitted me in my journey to living in increased gratitude and I want to share them with you. Let me know what you think of them. 

Five Steps to Practicing Gratitude

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                            

1. Start a gratitude jar. Fill it with notes of things you are grateful for. Every day, write one thing that you’re grateful for and store it in your gratitude jar. Some days, you might need to keep it really simple: “I’m grateful i have a warm bed and enough food”. Or you might need to pull one out for extra support on those dark days.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others. When we see others, especially on social media, we can pretend to ourselves that other’s lives are sleek and lovely. Turn to your own experiences of success and what you’ve accomplished instead. Don’t believe the fantasy of social media

3. Accept your worthiness. We need to remind ourselves, often, that we are enough, without having to change anything. You might say to yourself, “I am worthy of joy, just as I am.” When we lean away from joy, it is often because we struggle with a sense of worthiness

4. Meditate. By building your practice of being in present moment awareness instead of worrying about the future or the past, you can help yourself to be more present in this moment to what you are grateful for

5. Write a thank you note. By hand. And snail mail it. By letting people know that you appreciate them, and what they’ve done, you can feed the fire of joy.

Today, I more often live in gratitude, and that’s from practice! Let me know how you practice gratitude in your life…

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