When I was a new mother, many years ago, I came to mindfulness because my nine month old son almost died from spinal meningitis and became profoundly deaf as a result. Afterwards, I whirled around like a dervish, blaming myself: why didn’t I call the doctor right away? Why didn’t i go to the hospital sooner?
Finally a friend said to me, with fierce love: Get some help. I reached out and that’s when I met mindfulness.
I found out that “Mindfulness is about paying attention to this present moment on purpose, without judgment.”
Sounds simple, but I found out that it’s not easy.
I’ve been practicing for years, and over time, practices have led me from anxiety to awareness: the body scan, deep breathing, mindfulness movement, seated meditation, increased self-compassion and, most importantly, awareness.
All of these practices soothe your nervous system and calm your thoughts and feelings. If you struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma or other issues, I have found the results to be uniquely beneficial and that is why I live and teach it.
On my first six-day silent retreat, the teacher told us that our minds were like wild stallions and needed to be harnessed and trained. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I started to get what he meant when, after sitting for hours and days in meditation, I saw how my thoughts and emotions would flip and ruminate: first, into anger – like at the doctors for not helping me with my son quickly enough – or blame at myself.
Slowly, I began to sit with more calmness and observe the thoughts and feelings with increased compassion. By practicing the body scan daily, I connected more with my body sensations. And by sitting in meditation, I began to observe the qualities of my thoughts and feelings.
The hardest part for me was to observe all of this without judgment; or at least, when I noticed judgment, to not judge myself for having judgment.
There is no shortcut to mindfulness. It requires attention and cultivating intimacy, you would a best friend, through small informal practices like mindful eating and the bigger commitment to formal practices like seated meditation or the body scan.
Mindfulness works because it creates a relaxation response when you’re practicing: your breathing slows, your blood pressure drops and you feel calmer and more alert. Regular practices reduce the activity of the amygdala, the flight or fight part of your brain. You start to experience a very natural and real sense of being okay, just as you are.
If you’re ready to let go of anxiety or depression, or are having other issues, mindfulness can change your life, too. I can guide you to bring these practices alive for you.
Join me on this journey if you’re ready. Listen to some of my meditations either on my website Meditations or on Spotify.
