Midges & Mindfulness

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This spring of 2021 has brought the third wave of COVID-19 to Canada. We’ve been in serious lockdown plus a stay-at-home order. This has been very challenging for me, and many of us.

So when the midges — those tiny, bothersome black flies that come out for two or three weeks every spring — began to swarm recently, I was very irritated. I walk every day, when I mull over thoughts and feel somewhat free. These vexing flies began crawling into my nose, mouth, eyes and ears and on to my hair and clothing.

We are all trying to manage our time the best we can (despite the irksome midges). I’m doing family and friend zooms, gardening, walking, watching films, cooking, working, reading, writing and music. Although these are all helpful, it’s really been mindfulness that has helped me navigate my way through this dismal pandemic.

I’ve been practising mindfulness for many years, first as a student nearly 25 years ago and more recently as a teacher. Sitting quietly and observing my mind was not easy at first. My frenzied thoughts would zip all over the place, like those frantic little midges. And I couldn’t sit still for three seconds, never mind 30 minutes.

Not only is mindfulness helping me through this dismal pandemic, it has also guided me through the terrible injustices of this world.

At first, I thought that mindfulness was calling us to do nothing but stay calm. But that’s not true. Mindfulness offers a way to build calm openness so that when we see something that is unjust, we can choose to respond from a skilful stillness.

Recently, I was very challenged to hold to my calmness and belief in human goodness when I learned that many more women are experiencing intimate partner violence since COVID-19 started. So much so that the United Nations is calling it The Shadow Pandemic.

i managed the Sexual Assault Domestic Violence Program at the hospital for many years and worked with women – and a few men – who had experienced sexual and intimate partner violence. They would often tell me of the intense isolation, the painful pressure to stay in a violent relationship, or not involve others, the lack of support they often experienced and when they did tell people, they weren’t always believed.Today things have changed somewhat, and yet they’ve also stayed the same: thus the Shadow Pandemic.

When my calmness is deeply shaken and that familiar anger at the deep unfairness of life rises up, it takes effort to re-establish my sense of calm. So when my ire rises up, I turn off the news of women being assaulted more than ever and Indigenous Peoples still without clean drinking water and just sit, turning inward, before i take action.

I am learning to soften around my anger and grief.

From this renewed place of calm and acceptance, I am able to step back into the fray again and reconnect to the things I can do, even during a lockdown and stay-at-home order.

So I put my scarf over my face and head outside to trudge through the hordes of aggravating midges.

I imagine we all ache with grief for those who have died from this terrible virus, often alone, and for the helpers who struggle to provide support. We continue to hope for enough people to be vaccinated so there are no more deaths. And oh, how I’m sure we all long for this pandemic to be over, along with everyone else on the planet.

I can continue to stay home and be calm, on the whole, because of the gift of mindfulness, even when I’m swallowing midges.

If mindfulness interests you, there are countless resources at our libraries, online, and one of many wonderful books is Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I also offer online Mindful Monday mediations at noon, so if you’re interested in dropping by, let me know.

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