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What is mindfulness and why should I practice it?

Do you feel distracted and agitated sometimes? Do you often feel tugged in a million directions? Staying up with email and social media, returning that call to your cousin and making sure you know the latest about Covid-19? On top of that, you need to shop, get the meals made and the dishes done, while also helping your children with their homework.

We are bombarded daily with all kinds of external things and more than 60,000 thoughts!!

Although mindfulness might not be a cure-all, I have found it can really help.

Over the 20 years that I’ve been practicing mindfulness and the five years that I’ve been teaching it, mindfulness has really helped me. I tend to be an anxious person, and slowly, over time, I have become calmer and more focused.

I have learned that mindfulness is about being aware of the multitude of ways that i am distracted from being present in this moment. And slowly returning back, each time i notice. And doing this without judging myself.

When I first started practicing mindfulness, I imagined I could get this pretty quickly. I’m a fast learner and I work hard.

I discovered that has very little to do with it. It’s all about the practice. Sitting and being with yourself. Less doing. More being.

Mindfulness must be experienced to learn how to do it. You can’t skip over it in any way. It’s like joining the gym thinking you can lift 100 pounds. You can’t. You have to work up to it. There’s no getting around that.

At first, I couldn’t sit still or pay attention for 30 seconds, let alone 30 minutes. I began to notice how quickly my thoughts wandered from the present moment to the future or the past and how many things tugged at my attention while I was trying to pay attention.

I felt like I was going round and round in circles.

Then I would notice how often my mind wandered from this present moment. So I would say sharply to myself, “Get it together! What’s wrong with you? You’re not very good at this!”

I began to meet my harsh self-critic and had to learn how shift to compassion because everybody’s mind does this. I am not alone in this. Dr Neff, a self-compassion expert, talks about the Three Components of Self-Compassion in her fabulous TedTalks.She says that self-compassion is about:

  1. Being kind to yourself, just as you would a dear friend;
  2. Knowing you are part of common humanity (we all suffer); and
  3. Being mindful (returning to this moment without judgment).

The most important thing is to be aware of what is happening inside, and to do that with compassion. Even right now, as you’re reading this, just notice what is happening in your body, your breath and your thoughts. Are you tuned in and right here or is part of your mind wandering now and then to worries about work or your mother? Or the million other things that make up your life?

When you attend to what you are doing in the moment, with full attention, it’s easy. It’s staying with it that’s hard.

Next time you’re doing the dishes, just try it. Do the dishes without thinking of anything else but what you’re doing. Feel the warm, sudsy water as you’re washing the dirty dishes or preparing them for the dishwasher. Stay attentive to the dishes themselves, as you wipe and clean. That means every time your mind thinks about something else at all, you just notice and come back. Without judging yourself for it.

By engaging fully with the vivid sensations of your experience, you learn to become aware of what is happening in this moment more often.

Mindfulness Is a deliberate form of mental focus, an exercise if you will, that allows you to use awareness and attention to enhance your life in almost every way you can think of.

Research shows that practicing mindfulness over time enhances your capacity for calmness, increases your flexibility and builds your creativity.

Plus, the physical structure of your brain changes. New neurons and gray matter increase; aging is slowed down; and the frontal cortex (the part of the brain associated with decision-making and logical thinking), along with the hippocampus and the insula are all changed.

This is good news. But Dr. Jade Wu reminds all of us that mindfulness is not a “cure-all”. We still need to see our doctors, get help if we’re dealing with trauma or serious mental illness. I like that because I am suspicious of anything that is supposed to help everything.

If you choose to engage in mindfulness practice, over time you will find that being distracted and agitated settles down. It can be a transforming experience for not only you, but for your family and colleagues, neighbours and the world in general.

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