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How to practice stillness in mindfulness

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat any time.”  Herman Hesse

When I first began practicing mindfulness meditation (see my earlier blog) years ago, I couldn’t stay still for the life of me. I’d wiggle this way and that: first, my nose would itch and I’d have to scratch it; then my knees would ache and I’d need to move them; often, I’d start to feel anxious so would need to peek and see what was going on outside.

Then, I started studying with a teacher, who talked about stillness in the body and the mind. Oh, I thought, of course. That makes sense. We need both body and mind to be mindful.

Sitting still is a challenge for most of us

Learning how to sit still in mindfulness meditation – whether it’s through an itchy nose and aching knees or an anxious buzzing mind filled with thoughts – is a difficult challenge for most of us.

Sometimes the itch would demand all my attention, getting louder and bigger and then I would scratch when I couldn’t bear it another second.

Over time, I learned I could choose: to sit through through the intensity – of an itch or ache of some kind – or I could choose to move.

Having choice and autonomy are important for most of us is important. When do i sit still and when do i move?

You are your own wisest teacher

You are your own wisest teacher and only you know the answer. If you need to move your body – by scratching the itch, for example – trust yourself. Or you can stay with the stillness and let your body’s discomfort pass.

We have many “itches” that pull on our attention in this multi tasking, ever demanding world. Should I sit in meditation or have my morning coffee and look at my texts? Should I respond to my emails now or go for a walk? Do I spend another half hour working or take a break?

We have 6,000 thoughts daily

Each of us continually chooses our actions and we also choose which of our 6,000 daily thoughts we turn our attention toward.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, says, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

We can learn to let the waves – whether it’s your body’s discomfort or your thousands of thoughts – wash over us, moment by moment. By finding the power of stillness within you, you begin to allow the waves – pleasant or unpleasant, happy or sad, comfortable or uncomfortable – to wash over you.

Once I was meditating on a canoe trip and a mosquito landed on my arm. Can I allow this discomfort to be? Do I need to take my usual action, which is to smack the mosquito and scratch the itch?

It took all of my focus and attention to stay still as the mosquito landed, drew my blood, and then flew away.

Discomfort arrives and discomfort leaves. The mosquito bites my arm, draws blood, my arm itches and then it stops.

Whether it’s a small discomfort like a biting mosquito or a large, painful experience, like the ending of a relationship or the death of a loved one, we can learn to be with these experiences with more stillness and mindfulness.

Advanced meditators in the Vipassana tradition practice the “Vow Hour”, where you sit still without moving for an hour. That’s a pretty intense practice and can stir up all kinds of body and mind experiences.

Start small

As beginners, however, we can start smaller. Try setting your timer for two or three minutes. Just sitting fully still for that time and see what happens.

Whatever comes up for you during that time, perhaps an itch, an ache in your body or a feeling of anxiety, approach it with curiousity and see if you can just be with it, and let it pass.

You can choose, each moment, to turn to stillness and mindfulness.

Let me know how you do with this practice if you try it. It can be quite challenging for many beginners, and I’m always happy to offer guidance.

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